What Hurts Me
What hurts me, you ask?
I
don't feel a thing
Shielded from years of pain
Covered with layers of veils
I see the world
differently now
No joy, no pain...numb
What hurts me, you ask?
I'll peel off
the layers
Guarding my heart
From disappointment
Aching aloneness
Not being seen
I
am invisible
Under those veils
No connections
That enliven me
I make no waves
No
footprint on this Earth
What hurts me, you ask?
I once dreamed I was a basket of flowers
Beautiful
to see
Heavenly fragrance
No one knew my secret
Flowers were so beautiful because
They
were watered with my tears
What hurts me, you ask?
A deep pain from the past
That
kept repeating until
I finally got it...
I couldn't just sit still
And look pretty
Like
that basket of flowers
I needed to take back control
I needed to speak up for myself
I needed
to make my mark on the world
What hurts me, you ask?
That I have waited so long
That
I have disappointed myself
That I haven't spoken up before
That I have made myself invisible
That
I have made myself numb
Instead of finding my passion
And sharing it with the world
Instead
of connecting with others
On a deep spiritual level
That's what hurts me...
Thanks for asking
Why
Did You Leave?/A Pile of Leaves
You ask, "Why did you leave?"
A quote comes to mind:
"Believe
what you believe and it will be, believe what others believe and they will consume you!"--Stanley Victor Paskavich
I
left because I was consumed
I lost myself in love
Gave up my wants
Let go of my needs
For
the good of the relationship
Until
Needless and wantless
I became
Selfless
I
forgot my beliefs
Until
I was a shadow of a person
Going along to get along
Until
I
had to leave
My first husband
I had to get away from
My second husband
and I had to
run away from
My third husband
I guess that was
A pile of leaves
