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SUZANNE CAREY
DTLAL Associate Member
Sr. Columnist

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PHOTO: SUZANNE CAREY

SUZANNE CAREY


S u r r e n d e r & 

Release


      High above the towering treetops, Annalise floated amongst the glittering stars. She loved getting lost in the nighttime sky, so close to the stars she could almost touch them. Here she could be anyone or anything she chose to be, free from the constraints and the restrictions of life on Earth. In this place, amongst the bright lights of the universe she could release and surrender all that no longer served her highest good, and feel the joy of freedom. The freedom of just being.

A persistent buzzing filled her ears, and as it’s intensity grew so did Annalise’s awareness of her responsibilities. Reaching over a sleep leaden arm, she shut off the radio, yawned and slowly opened her eyes. The sun was trying to stream through her curtains, with one persistent ray that always seemed to hit her in the eye, no matter where she was in the bed. Throwing back her covers she sat up and ran her hands through her sleep rumpled hair, getting a finger caught in a knot. The smell of coffee drifted across the room, and she smiled as the image of the old cartoons she used to watch flashed in her mind. There was always this wavy stream of some heavenly smell that usually belonged to a pie. And as it reached the nose of it willing victim, the scent would capture their nose, lifting them dreamily off their feet, leading them towards their hearts desire. Coffee always did that for her, so sliding into her slippers, she shuffled her way into the kitchen to pour herself a cup and kickstart start her day.

Lunchtime at work, weather permitting, Annalise loved to sit outside on the park bench across the street. Lunch in hand, she would absentmindedly munch on her sandwich, sip her coffee, and watch the squirrels run up and down the trees. Or the birds gracefully landing on the ground to pick up a seed or a hapless worm. And fall was her favorite time of the year in the park because the trees changed their leaves into the brightest shades of yellow, orange and red. And as the palate of their colors changed, the trees released their colorful coats, allowed them to drift lazily to the waiting grass, carpeting it’s green canvas with a blanket of its vivid colors.

Annalise envied the trees in a way. It seems so easy for them to surrender their protective coating, only to lay bare, exposed to the cold and the coming snow, as they hibernated and got ready for the coming spring. Then renewed once again, they would bring forth their new leaves, bravely, confidently. Annalise wished she could be as brave. She loved her job, working behind the service desk at her local department store. She knew all her customers by name and treated them all like family. Sometimes she thought they just came in for a quick counseling session or to just chat with a willing ear. People tended to open up and tell her all their personal problems, but she didn’t mind, Annalise loved to help.

Yet, there was something missing, a yearning for something more. For the last few years, Annalise would volunteer at a women’s shelter, helping the lost and battered women get acclimated to their new, safe surroundings. Many of the women brought in infants and young children, and Annalise loved spending time reading them books, playing games or just holding them close and soothing their fears. There was so much more she could do if she had a Social Service license, but that would mean leaving her paying job to go back to school, and the thought of that terrified her. She had bills, food, and rent to pay. How would she live and support herself? Yet, if she didn’t get her degree she’d never be able to open her own shelter for these women and children. And around and around her thoughts would go until reality sunk in and she had to rush back inside because now she was going to be late.

Once again in the nighttime sky, she floated amongst the stars, aimlessly drifting, until she felt a gentle tug, halting her progress. Looking around her waist she noticed a silver cord, tethering her to the Earth, holding her back. This is newshe thought. Yanking on the cord she found it wouldn't budge and she began to feel agitated and confused. This was her happy place, what the hell!

Grabbing at the cord Annalise began yanking on it in earnest until a gentle voice filled her mind and stilled her frantic movements. The voice simply spoke two words, Surrender and Release.“Wait... what?” Again the voice replied “Surrender and Release”.
“Surrender and Release what?!”

“Your fear and your limiting beliefs. Trust that the Universe will support your life’s purpose. The first step belongs to you, the Universe will follow and support. You just need to Surrender and Release...”

Once again the persistent buzzing woke Annilese out of her happy place, but this morning she felt confused by her dream. She reached for her pen and pad that she kept by the bed and wrote down the words Surrender and Release. And as a second thought she wrote down a third word... Trust. Her day continued on a strange note, as she noticed signs that supported the message in her dream. Repeated groups of numbers that meant life changes and Angelic support. A customer she never saw before shared with her the story of how she just got her degree at the local college, taking advantage of special funding for working women. And while sitting at the park, noticing how the gentle breeze carried more leaves off the trees, a bus drove by with a picture of a Bank offering substantial savings in financing for working people wanting to go back to school.

Surrender, release and trust. Now she understood. In order to live her life's purpose, she needed to release the things that no longer served her, surrender her fear and trust that universe would provide for her as she took the steps to do what she needed to do. So after work, Annalise called the college for the information she needed, leading her to a woman who not only helped her get started, but also got her in touch with someone who could help her with funding at the bank. One step at a time, everything she needed fell into place. Was it always a smooth ride? Not really. Universe tested her resolve to move forward toward her dreams. Annalise found it difficult to study after so many years of being out of school, or trying to work and go to school at night. But she pushed forward and did what she needed to do.

Before long her graduation day approached, and the night before the big day she once again found herself floating amongst the glorious stars. With a thought the cord around her waist released and once again the voice filled her mind. A loving warmth surrounded her and Annalise heard “Now fly my child.”

And that’s exactly what she did.

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PHOTO CREDIT: SUZANNE CAREY

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